The labour...

So as I was staying in, we had to walk up to anti-natal which was horrible stopping every two minutes to scream a contraction out, you would think we had far to travel with the amount of time it took to get there. They did offer me a wheelchair but said it was better to walk, as it could bring Charlotte down. As she was still very high up, I was willing to do anything to get this pain to stop. 

So when I got there, I stood against the bed waiting for this so called pain relief. I had been given Co-dydramol and Paracetamol but it didn't do anything, so the next step would be Diamorphine, I hoped. 

After being in the room a while and still no one coming to my screaming aid, my mum went and asked for some pain relief for me, while Ricky held my hand, in horror. A snotty nurse said she would be in soon. God I would never want to work her soon, as over half an hour later she appeared with Gas & Air and a birthing ball and said I don't know what you've been told but this is the only thing we can give you (liar!!!). At this point, I would take what I could get. She said they wouldn't examine me again for at least 4 hours unless they felt I needed to be checked sooner. Considering I have been examined on MAU at about 11am, I shouldn't have needed to be checked again until at least 3pm.

The plan was to have every drug going to get me through this. The Gas & Air didn't help with the pain one bit, but it helped me cope better and breathe through each contraction. I just sat on the birthing ball with my hands against the bed and held onto the Gas & Air with my teeth like it was my lifeline. In between the contractions, I would just put my head on the bed and cry. When I couldn't cry anymore, I would just drift to sleep with exhaustion until another contraction came 2 minutes later. 

At about 1pm, I was climbing the walls screaming for something else to relieve the pain. After about an hour, they decided to examine me and found that I was 3cm, Charlotte had come right down, waters were bulging and Charlotte was back to back which was causing the pressure. As I was in so much agony they agreed to give me Diamorphine, thank god. Although they took their sweet time bringing it in. 

Combining this with Gas & Air it gave me 90 minutes of relief. Don't get me wrong, I still had contractions every two minutes and was in agony but it was bearable. I was able to drift into little sleeps in between the contractions. After having the Diamorphine, I took to the bed, which is a good job because I couldn't stand anyway. It's funny because I was so conscious about being undressed and people examining me but after the Diamorphine, I didn't even care if my pants were on. The pain just puts you that way. 

After 90 minutes, it all came back with a vengeance, I couldn't bare it. I was screaming and none of it was working. Clearly the Diamorphine had worn off. I couldn't stay still; I was throwing myself in an attempt to find a way to deal with the pain. Poor Ricky at my side got bit, punched and kicked, none of which I remember, oops. I am told I kept knocking the Gas & Air tubing off and turned into a raving banshee. Luckily my amazing husband was there to hold my hand, rub my back and keep putting the tubing back together. When he couldn't do it anymore my mum was there to take over. I didn't expect to feel the contractions in my back like I did. 

The next moment my water finally broke and Ricky ran to the midwife and told them. Hearing my screams the midwives finally decided to come in and examine me again. Now seeing I was 4-5cm I could finally move to delivery suite and get my epidural, as I was now in active labour. They tried to take the gas & air off me to get me in a wheelchair and get me to delivery suite. While trying to manoeuvre me I couldn't let it go. Finally tearing it out my hands we were on the move. My mum decided to go and get the bags out of the car as we finally knew what was happening and that we would have our baby today. 

We planned for it to be just Ricky and I but as my mum was our transport and we didn't know what was happening earlier she stayed. This was more down to the fact that no one expected me to progress and thought the contractions would just stop. I was still in the clothes I arrived in, whereas if I knew what was happening, I would have worn a nighty which would have been much comfier and easier. The way this labour had gone, nothing could have been planned.  

As we got into the lift, I could feel my body pushing her out. I screamed that I was pushing but no one believed me.  I kept being told no she's not don't worry. 

As we approached the doors, I was screaming to let them know she was on her way. One of the midwives must of realised and said don't push here but this was something I couldn't control. 

As I got into the room I was screaming for that epidural, I had to have it. The midwife said don't worry we can sort it for you; you just need to get on the bed so we can check you and the baby. I couldn't move out of the chair, feeling that overwhelming pushing sensation and a real need for me to allow it to take over. With Ricky's help, I threw myself out of the chair and managed to get a leg on the bed. Feeling the urge again, I flipped myself over so I was on my back shouting at the midwife once more for the pain relief. The midwife said don't worry we just need to get you sorted and we can give you the epidural. I screamed you can't because she's coming. The midwife finally looked down and realised she was well on her way and there was no time. Asking me to push and breathe through. Just at that moment my mum returned with the bags and was just in time. At which point I was screaming at the midwife say I bloody knew it would be to late, I knew it. Of course I was told off about talking and start pushing. I have no recollections of this due to being delirious with pain. 

When I finally concentrated on my pushing she was out. My little girl Charlotte Elizabeth was welcomed into the world weighing 7lbs 6oz at 16:59 on Wednesday 26th February 2014. She was perfect. 

There was a bit of panic as she didn't breathe straight away, due to being in shock at being born so quickly. The midwife didn't even offer my husband to cut the cord as the priority was to get her breathing. 

The cord was cuts and she was whisked onto the incubator next to me, rubbing her to get her to take her first breath. It felt like forever, still being disorientated from the sheer pain, I could see it all happening but couldn't fully comprehend it. Finally breathing she was given vitamin K and was returned to me. She was placed under my top on my chest so we could have skin to skin contact. I still feel horrible about this moment now as I was in so much pain, I couldn't enjoy her being there. 

I was shocked at the contractions starting again for my body to get rid of the afterbirth. After it was over there was a horrible burning sensation and a lot of pain still, obviously nothing like the labour but a lot of discomfort. The midwife told me I had 2nd degree tears and a doctor was on her way, as I had a labial laceration and the tears were extremely close to my urethra, I know probably too much detail :/ but god that stinging. 

The doctor came in and suggested I keep the Gas & Air in my mouth as it would allow me to cope with the pain but wouldn't help with the pain at all. Feeling every stitch going in was horrific and in my mind, I was pleading for it to be over. I had to be catheterised due to the tearing I had as they were concerned that I wouldn't be able to go to the toilet. The most shocking part was the Volterol which was so kindly shoved up my bum. It would have been nice to know about that beforehand :/ and at least be prepared for it :0 .

After everything was settled, I offered Daddy a cuddle; he just seemed to gaze at her in sheer amazement. I loved this moment as I finally got to see my beautiful girls face for the first time. At that moment my heart hurt, I loved her that much. While Daddy held her, I went for what must be the most amazing shower in the world. Modesty out the window the midwife helped me get clean and back into bed with a clean nighty. I was like a different person and ready to have my daughter back and finally appreciate her beauty. I couldn’t stop looking at her, she was amazing and perfect. 

As I was rhesus negative Charlotte's cord blood was taken straight after birth to be tested, a doctor came and advised us that her blood had been contaminated and they needed another sample. My poor baby only being a few hours old had to have her heal pricked to take a new sample.

At 10:30pm we moved to the post-natal ward. As it was so late Ricky and mum had to leave. I could see the pain in Ricky's face having to leave us and I didn't feel much better. Being this uncomfortable the help would have been nice. Its such a strange set-up when you need your partner they expect them to leave.

At about 12am a doctor appeared and said there was a problem with Charlotte's blood and they would need to do more tests. Disorientated and shocked it took me a few minutes to absorb what had been said but by that point he just disappeared. There was no have you got any questions or do you need me to explain anything or even an actual explanation. This is where all our troubles began...